4/06/2009

Exploration Essay

Cristine Ya
Exploration is Important for Countries

____The histories of the world are full of the cultures and stories of exploration. The explorers show the heroic spirit. Exploration is important for countries even for the world. The explorers John Cabot and Jacques Cartier show the heroic spirit of exploration. They dedicated development for countries. Madame Curie is another example of a hero about exploration. The different area can create new, better.

____In the past, the strong men in Europe almost have a same dream: to be an explorer for country. John Cabot was a great member of the group. He found Newfound Land for British government. He was an important role in British and Canadian histories. He provided the way to colony for British, showed the cultures for Canada and promoted the economic development for British and Canada. John Cabot was born in Italy C.1450.He become the first early modern European to discovered North America. He sailed twice. First, he went to North America and found a place which lived Native People. He named it Newfound Land and claimed it for England. He thought it's the Asia. Truly, it is a part of Canada. The second he wanted to find Japan, but he sailed to the eastern coast of North America .He didn't come back. He did communication with the Native people. He provided the way to colony for England. He tried to transport something special of the Native People. He showed the cultures not only for England but also for Canada. He knew the habits of Native People. He did some trade with the Native People and he transported something special of the Native People to England. John Cabot tried to do more for exploration and he did his best for his job. He found the country which was colonial by England, introduced the cultures about Canada and promoted the development of economy for Canada and England. He was a mature and great explorer in the histories.

____Jacques Cartier was another explorer from Europe. As an explorer, Jacques Cartier's ability and wisdom are famous. He helped the king of France to found a new land, he provided the powerful conditions for French colonize and he did trade with the Native People of Canada daringly. The French King wanted to find a new land to lead. He chose the greatest explorer named Jacques Cartier did a new exploration, so, Jacques Cartier started the first exploration in his life. In 1534, he arrived in Canada he tried to introduced the country to the world. He did communication to the Native People. He was a French explorer who claimed what is now Canada for France. He spent much time on describe and map the Gulf of Saint Lawrence. During this trip, he kidnapped Chief Donnacona's two sons. Donnacona at last agreed that they could be taken, under the condition that they return with European goods to trade. He also began to build diplomatic relations with the natives. He did the fur trade with the Native People. They exchanged something that was good for each other. Cartier gave the knives to the Native People and got the fur. Cartier returned to France in September 1534, sure that he had reached an Asian coast. Jacques Cartier' ability and wisdom were the important conditions for him, to be a hero in the history of exploration. He did something carefully which were told by his king, he colonized the new land for his country and he knew the importance of the sources, so he did the trade with the Native People.

____Madame Curie was a scientific explorer of Poland. As a woman, she broken the traditional restrict, as an explorer, her exploration was the one of the most important physical discovery in the world and her stories、spirit encourage people long time, She is a hero of exploration in the history. In 1867, Madame Curie was born in Poland .She like new things and tried to do some experiment about physics. Afterwards, she graduated from the university Paris and she became the first women teacher in University Paris. She got married with Pierre Curie. They lived in a tin pot lab and tried to find a new element. It was difficult. They did the experiment everyday and never give up. In the final, they found the element: Lei. It was an important exploration in the histories. She was the first woman to get the Nobel Prize .Her exploration made important contributions to science. The stories about Madame Curie became the children' required publications. Her spirits encourage everyone in the world. Madame Curie knew the life is full of ups and downs but she never fear. All women in the world are proud of her achievement, her exploration was important for the world and her spirits encourage everyone. No doubt, Madame Curie was a hero of exploration.

____The different area can create new, better. John Cabot was a great explorer in Europe. He dedicated the development of exploration; Jacques Cartier was an intelligent explorer. His ability and wisdom helped him to do the best explorations for his country and Madame Curie was a classical woman explorer. Her contributions became one of the most important explorations in the history. They are heroes of exploration. The explorations promote the development of countries even the world. The exploration is important for countries.

1 comment:

  1. Focus - 2.5/4

    I get lost in your essay. You must use more of your own words. Each body paragraph has a lot of details about your explorer but there is a lot of information you don't need. If you want to introduce your explorer, you can but you don't want to spend your essay just talking about who these explorers are.

    Organization 2.5/4 -- Your thesis statement is not in one sentence. Your conclusion and introduction needs to connect what you are writing about to the topic.

    Your topic has become "Explorers are important for countries" but you did not answer "Exploration is important for countries".

    Be careful.

    Content 2.5/4

    See the comment in Organization.

    Usage 2.5/4
    The different area can create new, better.
    (You are missing the noun after new and better)

    Style 2.5/4
    Try to use different ways to begin your sentence.
    Use different vocabulary words.
    Make it interesting to read.


    12.5/20 x2 - 25/40


    Keep on writing! The more essays you do, the more you will improve!

    ReplyDelete